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Thursday, September 30, 2010

thanks for messing up my mind

whats wrong with the world, mama? -black eyed peas
What do you do when people around you twist everything you say into a cruel or wrong or bad joke?

"The bottom of this stupid pizza is crunchy"

My "friends" turned that into something they laughed about for ages.

What do you do when people talk about stuff that shouldnt be talked about and they do it as casually as if they were discussing what they are gonna have for lunch?

What do you do when your "friend" tells you she french-kissed her boyfriend over the weekend, when you havent even held hands with a boy?

What do you do when you show up at school wearing a scoop-necked t-shirt and then you see all the other girls parading around in short skirts and strapless tops?

What do you do when you realize the people that hang around you are not good people and they are bad influences? (I ignored them over lunch and ate with a different group of friends. They swore at me afterwards. Its uncomfortable to have someone hate you, did you know that?)

What do you do when you get so fed up with the crap around you that you want to throw something or bash someones teeth in?

Do you, can you, throw something or bash someones teeth in?

Of course not.

So what do you do?

Hide it behind a grin, a forced laugh?

Isnt this supposed to be getting easier, God?

Because news isnt.

21 replies:

Anonymous said...

I love that song.

Sadly enough, I'd tell them to shut up (speaking of the people talking about stuff that shouldn't be talked about) or move to another table, putting up with that trash is just not the thing to do. There is but so much crap I can take and 'that so much' is very very VERY little. As far as the french-kissing goes eh well I would either (a throw up on her (b not care (c tell her how 'proud' i am of her exchanging saliva all weekend. What an accomplishment. NOT. Girl don't worry about your having not 'even' held a boys hand yet, your time will come soon and you'll get some super awesome guy. Trust me, one word of advice, never settle. What do you do when show up at school wearing a scoop neck when all the other girls are wearing strapless tops and short skirts. Well 'I' would be glad I didn't look like a hooker. Lookin' like a hooker is only get you attention YOU DO NOT need. If they are bad influences do what you did ignore them and move on. You will get yourself some TRUE friends soon, who won't swear at you. Be true to yourself Bekah, you have got to do that. You can't give in. God never said ANYTHING was going to be easy. This is only going to make you a stronger better more mature person IF you let it. :)

Anna Gray said...


Anonymous said...

The same thing happend to me. As you knoww. Those people arent worth your time. They were bad influences on you. In time, hopeflully God will pull through, at least he did for me in that situationn. Dont think of them as friends you lost. But you are just on your way to finding your true friends.
Love youu foreverrr

Liz B said...

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. You definitely need God to get you through this. Take a deep breath and pray, asking him for guidance. :)

~Liz B

Bethany said...

#1. Calm down. Even if it's frustrating and confusing and the worst nightmare ever. But sit down. Get something hot to drink. Google Giligan's Isle and laugh.

#2. Pray. Pray. Pray.

I've been homeschooled all my life - so I can only imagine what it is like.

But I have been laughed at.

It hurts. But all we can do is forget the past and forgive - and keep pushing.

Remember that God knows what He's doing. All you should do, is trust Him. Let Him do the judging.

James said...Consider it all joy when you encounter various trials...



Amber Noella said...

Well, you keep on being the Bekah that God made. Let 'em see a difference in you. Let them see something where they'll say, "I want what she has."
Don't be prideful or scorn at them. As mush as you possibly can, love them. But it's good to acknowledge that you can't do it alone. Because newsflash for all of us...we can't.

Jordyn said...

Bekah- can we ge together on Sunday? Like, really truly? Tat would be amazing- i really want to hear all about all this junk, and listen to all those thoughts :)

(oh, and i totally agree with what Amber Noella said- so true :)

Bailey said...


Don't let this get you down.

I'm homeschooled. I'm sheltered. I'm not an eighth grader in a high school.

But I know people can be mean. I know people can be rude. I know people will tell me to shut up, to go away, who hate me. I know I will feel left out. Different.

I know what it's like to cry over so-called "friends." So even though you don't know me and our circumstances are radically different -- hear me out, sister.

Only you can change. Your high school won't change, and it's very unlikely your friends will. That leaves it up to you to make the change for the better...or else nothing will change.

Look for the good. Look for God's hand at school. Pray for opportunities to pour out Christ's love on your enemies, on your "friends," on anybody who gets thrown into your path. So many times we waste times to bless others when we complain about them. We can't change what other people think of us...but we can change what we think about them.

Make a list of the people who have hurt you and pray for them...really pray for them. Smile at everybody who will look your way. Ask how their week is going, if they've been going through anything tough this week, if you can pray for them.

And don't be afraid to be different. You're a smart girl (and that's an understatement), so you know what it's like to be different in that way. But don't be afraid to dress modestly, be pure and love Jesus with your whole heart. That sounds so cliche. But it's so true. You can't not be different -- because your God is different.

Embrace that. Be joyful. Rejoice -- always. Paul tells us that again and again, and he was in prison, beaten, hated, misunderstood. Nothing really went right for him on earth. Rejoice, Bekah -- you have so much to be thankful for. So much, in fact, that cruel friends, bad language, namecalling, French-kissing and strapless tops are just a drop in the ocean compared to God's love for you.

Revel in His grace. Don't be afraid to cry. Just make sure you cry to Him, and love others with everything you've got.

You can do it. And when you can't, He can.

Emily said...

I'm homeschooled, so I don't really know what it's like. But I've had "friends" that are beside me one minute, and the next it's like they're a thousand miles away. But I try to remember that God gives us hard times to make us stronger Christians. Always remember that God is always with us, and He will always love us. I'm praying for you!

Joy said...

girl, that is SO messed up. ugh. all this stuff. grr. well, that's life i guess.

you may be stuck in this hole of crap, but just be encouraged by the fact that you are a shining light in this stupid stuff. someday, someone is gonna look into this hole of crap and see you, a beautiful girl who's been strengthened by all the hard things.

I know you've probably heard this hundreds of times, but...God is using this for good. He wouldn't have you do anything that you cannot do.

you go girl, be strong and confident. you are so brave for doing this!! i'm praying for you.

luv ya sista!


Joy said...

oh, i forgot one more thing.

all your friends/not-so-friends swear at you, pretend to hate you, and call you names behind your back.

but deep down they respect you for being different. they respect you for being modest because you are SMART and RESPONSIBLE. the only reason they are hatin on you is because they don't wanna look stupid.

maybe, i'm wrong, and they do actually hate you deep down. but either way, I respect you and all of your followers do. i respect you because you are still standing strong. and that is what counts.

keep clingin' to God, sista. he gonna carry ya thru all this crap. cuz his love never ends.

Shelley said...

Not very happy to read that things aren't getting much better. :(
Just tru your best to find a new group of friends to hang out with. People who will bring out the best in you, not put you down. I'll pray for you Bekah. I promise you, things will get easier. Don't lose hope. :)

Emma said...

When people say that kind of stuff I like to say "why?" kind of shocks them for a minute and they don't know how to respond ;) im praying for you hope things get better soon!! (:


Anonymous said...

1/2.Ignore it, Walk away, maybe its time to get some new friends.
3.Who care's ? She is acting to much like an adult already.
4.Act like yu havnt noticed, or make your outfit eem like the best. (:
5.Like i said before, maybe its time to make new friends.
6.Tell someone, lways good to get your feelings out.
You pray, and know that each day of life is a gift from God, so make the bst of it. Life isnt always easy, and trust me I have had my share of times, and lotso people ahve to. Just try to think ofall the children in Afica wo have nothing...always works for me, and then instead o crying for myself, I cry for them and pray for them, and thank God for how easy my life it.Which to me, its not sometimes.


Anna said...

strangely enough, you are not alone!! i'm going through the same thing. one thing you have to do though is guard your heart. don't let what they say to and about you get to you. and most importantly don't force yourself into trying to fit in!! it will only make the situation worse... i'm having to separate myself from one of my closest friends because she gets sucked in with a girl that i used to be friends with... it's going to be ok!! just trust in God and He will help you through!!

Elizabeth Rose said...

Pray, Bekah. Pray.

Anonymous said...

Bekah, my mom said "Poor girl..." So many times while reading your newest posts. I'll be prayin' for you, girl!

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."

~John 16:33

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

~Matthew 11:28

Hang in there!

Hope Marie said...

Hey, I have a free online magazine for Christan girls and was wondering if you'd like to check it out? If you do go to
God bless, Hope

Seth Skogerboe said...

Bekah, be better. I'm home schooled, you know that, but I used to go to private. Sometimes, people are nasty. They show off. They make fun of something that you can't do well. I wasn't very good at running. I know that it was petty, but when some guy would glance at me as he sprinted past, I wanted to wipe his speed-blurred smirk off his face. Or when somebody would bump into me, when I was walking down the hallway with my face (not just my nose, my whole stinking face) in a book... well, I guess I just felt kindof proud of myself. Just be better, Bekah. 'Cause you are. You are better than that! Show it!

Joy said...

@ Seth Skogerboe:

duuuude. that is good. keep up the good comments.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should try not being so judgmental? Maybe you should accept people for who they are? Maybe if you were stronger willed people couldn't be a bad influence on you? Have you ever stopped to think that you might be the one with the problem, and you are the one turning on your friends for them simply being who they are; expressing themselves.

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