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Friday, May 6, 2011

let it go

I am a perfectionist. If you know me at all, than you know that much. I berate myself constantly if I fall short of any goal that I set for myself, whether it be in school, sports, or music. Everything gets me down, I just got back from a track meet. I am extremely unhappy with my time.

See, I have this best friend named Hannah. We're in track together (she's the girl in the picture from the previous post). It was both of our first year in track. We're both decent, she's just very much better than me. Today her time was a good 20 seconds faster than mine. Her time was spectacular (beat the lettering time by 2 full seconds) and mine just wasn't.

I could be jealous of her for so many reasons. She was snow queen for our grade, everyone who knows her adores her, she's hilarious, she's so easygoing and friends with literally everyone, and a better runner than me. I'm struggling now with it, but I just gotta let it go.

There's always gonna be someone better than us, at everything we do. It is sorta depressing to think about, but no matter what we do or where we go, there will ALWAYS be someone that can do whatever you can do better. Doesn't that bother you? Doesn't matter if I run a 6 minute mile. There's always someone who can run fastaer. Doesn't matter if I graduate college at 19. There's always someone who's graduated earlier. Doesn't matter if I can play Vivaldi's Concerto number something-or-other. There's always someone who can play better than me. Doesn't matter if I get so many commments on my default. There's always someone who's prettier than me. Doesn't matter if I work so hard on my faith. There's always someone who is a better Christian than me. 

You get what I'm saying? Gah it just goes on and on. I have to break that cycle. I have to accept me for who I am. I HAVE to.

I do feel better now that I wrote that out. Sorry that my post didn't move you to tears....I know there's so many better blogs out there. But thanks for reading helps to get my thoughts down.  

Sunday, May 1, 2011

so...up for a normal post ? (:

Hey guys....its been way too long since I've written a normal, happy, teenage-girl post. I've kinda just blogged when I'm feeling emotional, and I don't want my blog to be a vent.

So I'll just kinda share some pictures, some thoughts and we'll see how this goes. (:

I just took literally like a 30 minute bubble bath; I lovelovelove relaxing things like that. This morning at my church we had a flash mob dance sort of thing; during the offering song, the whole NextGen program (the mentoring youth group) had a dance planned out, and it was, needless to say, incredibly fun. If there's a video or anything I can put up here, I will.

Tomorrow's Monday.....yuck. It's so close to summer that it sucks to be sitting in school when it looks gorgeous outside - even though we haven't been having the greatest weather lately. (:

 ^^^^^ I get bored .

 And I like playing the violin.... (:


And also jeans (:

Hahah...I know this post sucked, but oh well. I tried. 

Oh, my dad ran a half-marathon this morning, and I made varsity track. (: Kay bye.


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