I am a perfectionist. If you know me at all, than you know that much. I berate myself constantly if I fall short of any goal that I set for myself, whether it be in school, sports, or music. Everything gets me down, honestly....like I just got back from a track meet. I am extremely unhappy with my time.
See, I have this best friend named Hannah. We're in track together (she's the girl in the picture from the previous post). It was both of our first year in track. We're both decent, she's just very much better than me. Today her time was a good 20 seconds faster than mine. Her time was spectacular (beat the lettering time by 2 full seconds) and mine just wasn't.
I could be jealous of her for so many reasons. She was snow queen for our grade, everyone who knows her adores her, she's hilarious, she's so easygoing and friends with literally everyone, and a better runner than me. I'm struggling now with it, but I just gotta let it go.
There's always gonna be someone better than us, at everything we do. It is sorta depressing to think about, but no matter what we do or where we go, there will ALWAYS be someone that can do whatever you can do better. Doesn't that bother you? Doesn't matter if I run a 6 minute mile. There's always someone who can run fastaer. Doesn't matter if I graduate college at 19. There's always someone who's graduated earlier. Doesn't matter if I can play Vivaldi's Concerto number something-or-other. There's always someone who can play better than me. Doesn't matter if I get so many commments on my default. There's always someone who's prettier than me. Doesn't matter if I work so hard on my faith. There's always someone who is a better Christian than me.
You get what I'm saying? Gah it just goes on and on. I have to break that cycle. I have to accept me for who I am. I HAVE to.
I do feel better now that I wrote that out. Sorry that my post didn't move you to tears....I know there's so many better blogs out there. But thanks for reading mine...it helps to get my thoughts down.