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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Link Up! Upon My Return {Blog} Parade

Yes, I know it’s March 31st, but I’m going to be really busy tomorrow so I opened it a day early. Go ahead and link up! You will be automatically entered into my (awesome) giveaways. (click the link to get the questions)

Also: the MckLinky opens at 12:00. Just as a side-note.

EDIT! I changed the code, hope this works.

MckLinky Blog Hop

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Like a Pair of Broken Headphones

I have this pair of headphones. They're not expensive headphones, they're not insanely comfortable headphones--but they're nice and squishy and have a noise-blocking setting that I use a lot.

Anyways, I was carelessly wrapping them up to put them away when I accidently tore the left ear-phone cushion out. I have done it before, and it's easy to fix it--but I didn't take the time. I said, Oh, I can fix it later. I'm too busy right now.

They lay there on my desk, in their pitiful broken state, and when I had to use them, I tried to ignore the discomfort because I didn't want to have to fix them.

And honestly, that's what my life has been like recently. My life is like that pair of headphones--broken, laying around, useless and uncomfortable.

The last few months have been dry months. Dead months. Silent months. I pushed God into the back of my mind, and replaced Him with school and friends.

In the mornings, I would leave my Bible sitting in its corner, and would pull out my journal instead. I would pray--but would I really pray? No. I would pray about shallow things--things that didn't really matter. I didn't really pray. I didn't really give God the time that He deserved.

I went through the past few months of my life without God: working hard at school, socializing with friends, journaling, blog designing, going to church, saying the right things, listening to the right music--even managing to pray and leave God out of it!

Honestly, I was scared of surrending my life to God.

I have tried to completely commit my life to Jesus many times in the past few years. Sometimes it's just a verse that I come upon.  I break down and say "God, I can't do this anymore--please help me." But then I fall back into old habits, old sins, old mind-sets. Other times, it's just a resolution late at night--and then I break promises and I banish God from my mind.

Somehow, I thought that if I said, "I'm going to commit my life to Jesus now," enough times, I would truly commit my life to Him.

But anything that I say, or that I do, or that I think--it won't turn my life around.

It has to be Him.

I don't know how to describe my life--except by saying dry. And dead. My feeble attempts at surrendering finally collapsed.

I would take two steps from the side-lines to the field, only to become frightened of what other people thought of me or what they wouldn't think of me and I careened back to pretending.

And I was sick of doing that. I could feel myself falling back, hesitating, pulling away. And I hated that.

So I stopped. I stopped pretending. I stopped hesitating.

I did commit--but to the wrong thing--I commited to ignoring God. I pulled away for good--or so I thought. I was sick of God and how He seemingly messed up my life and then took off.

Everything went wrong. I tried to immerse myself in friends, only to find myself ruining the best relationship I had. I tried to focus primarily on school, only to become more and more stressed and lose more and more sleep. I tried to act happy and carefree, only to realize that other people were noticing how different I acted and asking if they could pray for me.

Life is a wreck without God. I've tried to live without Him for the last few months--and they were the worst of my life. Dry. Dead. Silent.

That's what comes from trying to do everything on my own.

And the worst part was: I couldn't talk to anybody about it because I was scared of what they would think. Would they judge me because I "hated" God and didn't want anything to do with Him? Would they try and pray for me?--because that's what I hated the most: someone praying for me when I told myself I didn't need it.

Then Ab posts, and it seemed like God was trying to speak to me. I kind of acknowledged how wonderful the post was, and then moved on with my broken life. I wished that that could be me--that I could do what she did and completely surrender. But I thought, It never will be me.

Then Hannah and Marissa post, both of them opening their heart and sharing their journey and how their relationship with God needs to become something better.

God truly urged me to join with them, dancing on that field, becoming one with Him.

I'm sick of how I was living: independent, and because of that, sad and lonely. I can't live without Him. That's just the truth.

I regret those months living apart. Those months could have been beautiful, but because I chose to divide myself from Christ, they were so cold. Cold. Dry. Dead. Silent.

I fixed my headphones. And you know what? It took five minutes to fix them. Five minutes.

I chose a week of discomfort over five minutes of effort.

And again, this mirrors my life. I chose months of loneliness and deadness over talking with God and renewing myself in His word.

What did it take for God to wake me up? Just three blogs and a pair of broken headphones.

Monday, March 29, 2010

I Love Designing and...

Just finished designing Jenna's gotta tell me what you think. The colors are nice, no? ;)

I like the nav-bar--but then again, I love all nav-bars because they bring organization to the blog.

My appreciation of nav-bars is kind of ironic because I'm such a disorganized person in real life. Most of my friends say they couldn't live with messes--but I have no problem with being surrounded by junk (wadded up papers, random books, kleenex boxes, my camera bag, writing utensils, notebooks, etc.).

My Momma helps to keep my mess in check--she doesn't let it get completely out of hand. Otherwise, honestly, it would spread all over the house.

To finish the title: I love designing and sometimes I gotta wonder where I'd be without my parents.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

My {April} Resolutions

HEY, DON'T LAUGH--I can have April Resolutions if I'm a little late on New Year's, right? (I'm very excited for the turn of the month--new months always excite me. :)


*Double take* He's not picking his nose. Just writing--fewf!


Yes, I know this picture is terribly posed. ^_^

*sigh* Oh my, I know I'm terrible.

Jenna is such a cutie. :)

Granola is just so good... *sigh*

You gotta grin when you take a look at that smile. :)

...regardless of what I see in the mirror.


Jenna and I. :)

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Giveaways Revealed and Blog Parade Questions

I WAS THINKING--and I decided (after much deliberation and talking with my parents) that I am going to be giving away my family's fridge (that includes all the food inside it) and our wonderful laundry machines!

Aren't you excited?!...

...I'm only joking. Here are the real prizes... (kudos to my Momma who bought them for me ;)

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
(there was a gift recipt...I know I stuck it in the book, but I can't find it to save my life...)
It's spanking new and hard-cover--I was so tempted to keep it. ;)

...and an ADORABLE canvas tote and necklace!
(They were both on sale for killer prices--I can't ever resist that. ;)

Now for the questions...
Note: Sorry for the confusion about the fifth entry. Answering the questions on your blog IS the fifth entry.

1. If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would you say?

2. If you could go anywhere in the world with anyone you wanted to, where would you go and who with?

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

4. What is one habit (or two ;) that you get teased about a lot?

5. What is (or are) your food obsession(s)?

6. What is the best April Fools prank you pulled on someone or that someone pulled on you?

7. If you were an inanimate object, what would you be?

8. Let's say you could change the world in one way. How would you change it?

9. You have a million dollars (*gasp* ;). How do you spend it?

10. What is one thing that always takes your breath away? (That could mean in a good way OR a bad way)

11. You are granted three wishes. What do you wish for? (Remember, you can't wish for more wishes ;)

12. You can spend the day with one character from a book or series that you've read. Who is that character?

13. What is something odd or interesting about you that is not commonly known?

14. What is one thing that you absolutely positively cannot stand?

15. Say you commited a crime. The judge gives you a choice between sentences: twenty years of complete solitude in the mountains or never having another moment alone for the rest of your life. Your choice?

16. What is one benefit that blogging has given you?

17. A perfect day in your eyes would be...?

Start thinking up your answers! Get ready to post about them April 1st-10th. :)

(My new blog look is being the next week or so, it should be finished. :)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Upon My Return {Blog} Parade (yes, that means giveaways ;)

Hey. I hope you still remember me. The break was nice, and I needed it.

(Florida was incredible--I promise a lot of pictures will be uploaded here, as well as a few right here.)

Anywayserz, Kat told me to do something fun when I "come back". That got me thinking--and I've decided to host a blog parade (as you know from the title, of course).

Appropriately, my blog parade is called Upon My Return {Blog} Parade.

{EDIT}: I apologize for the non-working-ness (^_^) of the code...I think I fixed it.

The Wordcrafter

The rules are simple. Answer a few questions and WAH-LAH! You are entered into two fantastic giveaways! (You have to realize that I won't be able to spend two hundred dollars on this blog parade--I doubt I'll be able to spend fifty. I just bought my camera, as you know, so I'm re-pooling my allowance--can't spend a whole lot on giveaways. But still--a giveaway is a giveaway. ;)

I have no idea how many people will enter, so I'm going to bribe you all a bit (that's allowed, right? ;). Starting at 20 particapants, when every ten more link up, I will add another giveaway. The more people particapate, the more giveaways there are.

How to get extra entries: (not including answering the questions, of course--you gotta do that ;)
1. Add the bloggie-bash button to your sidebar.
2. Follow this blog if you came upon it from the button.
3. Follow my photography blog (I ♥ followers, I'm not ashamed to admit it. :).
4. Leave a comment. (I also ♥ comments.)

You can get, at the maximum, 5 entries! Now tell me that ain't a good deal. ^_^

I will be posting the questions in a new post tomorrow (I'm warning you ahead of time: I'm a big procrastinator. So it may easily be a few days after tomorrow.). You can think up your answers and post about them starting April 1st, 12:00 p.m. {Central Time}. (There will be an April Fools question. ;)

Upon My Return {Blog} Parade will end April 10th, 12:00 p.m. {Central Time}.

Get ready to link up. :)

Make sure to check back here often for the questions and some more information on the giveaways.

Also, wondering what the giveaways are? Think coffee, a good book, some graphic design stuff, and a nice blank notebook...Oh, and pens, of course. Something along those lines. (Not only am I going shopping sometime soon, but I'm gonna scrummage around the house for something decent to add to the stockpile.)

Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you--I'm re-designing my blog-look. Yes, yes, I know, I just got a fantastic one a few weeks ago...but I'm yearning fall. ;)
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