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Sunday, October 24, 2010

a point?

What will I be doing twenty years from now? Where will I be? More importantly, who will I be?

Will any of this stuff that seems to take up my life even matter anymore? Will I have forgotten the drama that seems to be everywhere? Will I be able to look back on the things that made me cry and be able to laugh, or even smile?

Who are the people that will be surrounding me, twenty years from now? Will any of the friendships that I am investing in now last that long?

Will I still be doing the things I'm doing right now twenty years from now? Am I spending my time doing the right things, the things that will stay with me?

Am I focusing on the things that should be focused on? Am I spending time on the relationships that really matter versus the ones that don't?

Sometimes you just gotta stop and ask, what am I doing that's worthwhile? I think we get caught up so easily in the things that are so pointless - drama, for instance. The whole she-said he-said cycle. Dont you just kinda get sick of that? Some people just love that, though. No offense, but I have never been able to stomach drama. Its stupid, and pointless, and half of the time it's completely ridiculous. You just gotta laugh at how immature some people can be.

 I've mentioned my old diaries before - I read them and re-read them a lot. I used to be so obsessed with Webkinz. You know those cute little furry creatures that took over the world for a brief period of time? They were everywhere. Everyone had them. I was so caught up in saving up money so I could buy a Webkinz - then when I got my first one, I immediately started pooling my money so I could buy another one. I spent almost a hundred dollars on Webkinz. Now, just a year or two later, I've completely forgotten about all of my Webkinz - I lost them all. My account has long expired.

See, I was so engrossed in Webkinz, it was like practically my life. There was one specific entry where I was completely flipping out because my mommy hadnt let me go on Webkinz for three days. Like I was saying I hated her because she didn't let me go on Webkinz.

Pathetic? Yeah, I know.

But it was just a phase. Webkinz: I thought it was life or death. But a short while later, I forgot about it.

What if everything I think is important is really trivial? What if everything I spend my time on is pointless because a year later I will be doing completely different things? And how do I know what is important and what isnt?

And that's rhetorical. I do know what's important and what's not.

But it's so easy to get caught up in that, you know? Its so easy to know but to just not care anymore.

Sorry for all the heavy posts lately - it's good to sit down and write after all the ditzy things that I do all the rest of the day.

I do love you guys. Have a great Sunday night. :)

11 replies:

Anonymous said...

Hey, everybody has those days! *ugh* My siblings are _still_ in the Webkinz phase! *sigh* =)

Sorry I never e-mailed you. I _still_ had that on my To-Do list last week. *groan* Sometimes I can't beleive myself. =)

You too!


[Laurea] said...

Beautiful post. I think if YOU love doing something, regardless of whether or not you will be doing it in the future, you should do it. Love what you do. I think you should focus less on your life in the distant future, and focus more on living in each moment. It'll make your burdens a lot easier. Still praying for ya, girl. :)


Izori said...

We love you too. =)

I often wonder about that same thing myself. Deep thinking rocks!

Elizabeth Rose said...

I love good, thoughtful posts. They make me think. This was amazing, Bekah--you have an excellent point.

Elizabeth Rose

Eldarwen said...

Thoughtful, deep posts are great! They really make you stop and... well, think! :)

I know what you mean about phases. Gosh, I don't think I could count on my fingers how many phases I've gone through... in just, like, the last two years. lol :D We just have to keep examining ourselves, and making sure we're not focusing on the things of this world, and that we're focusing on Christ, and our relationship with Him. :) It's hard, but then again, haha, no one said life was easy. Though, it would be nice if it were a little *easier*. ;)

Love ya!

Jenna said...


Hannah M said...

I love your thoughtful, deep posts, Bekah:) I so agree - I've gone through phases where things I've forgotten about seemed so important to me. Sometimes you just need to sit back and look at your life from a different perspective, you know?

Have a lovely day, dear!
Hannah xx

Emily said...

I used to be obsessed with Webkinz, too. Now I've just kind of forgotten about them. I know that there are things I'm doing now that I'll grow out of--but that's a way of life. Oh well...

Joy said...

i loooooooove your posts, Bekah. ESPECIALLY the deep ones. =)

keep it up!

sarah said...

Bekah...this is an awesome post.

sarahlynn said...

that was a really nice post! i wonder things like that too :) i was really into webkinz once


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