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Thursday, September 16, 2010

I have to say...God pulls through.

Yes. That's me. Still smiling. After two weeks of public school.

It didnt kill me, did it? In fact...I like it.

Scratch that.

I love it.

I love seeing my friends every day. (you read that right. I have friends!) I love the shiny halls. I love laughing so hard I can't breathe during lunch. I love the teachers. I love my classmates.  

Well, most of them. I hate chemistry. I'm in classes with people sixteen, seventeen, even eighteen years old and most of them are cool about it. But the honors chemistry students? Not so cool with it.

First day, second period. Honors Chem. I walked in, and knew I would be in trouble. It got out in the class that I was thirteen and technically in eighth grade. The whole class interrogated me about why I was there. Literally, they asked, "Why the h*** are you here?!"

Nice choice of words, classmates-o-mine.

Anyways. They haven't forgotten it. I can feel them watching me during quizzes and lectures. We correct quizzes by giving them to our partners to check. I know that my partner shares my quiz scores with everyone in the class afterwards.

Because they're all so intent on watching the thirteen-year-old eighth grader.

I feel the pressure. I cried yesterday after school. I cried today. I will cry tomorrow.

But the truth is, I love it. But its hard. I hate the pressure. I hate feeling like everyone is watching me. I hate that all the juniors and seniors know about me and my "smartness". (by the way. I'm not smart.)

Just today on the bus, I was hanging with my bud Brian and I met a whole bunch of his friends, one of who was in my AP English class. He asked me, "Bekah, you're a new junior?"

I hated to say the words that came out of my mouth next, but I couldnt lie. "No, I'm a freshman."

He swore. Not surprisingly.

But what he said next stuck out at me- "Wow, thanks for making me feel stupid."

I wish that I could be his age, so that I wouldnt cause that kind of feeling in people. Because who likes to hang around someone who makes you feel stupid?

But the rest of my classes I love. I love the people in my Algebra II class. Oleg, Jessica, Natalie, Shae. Love, love, love. Funniest teacher ever. Geometry. Not so much. They're all older and think they're so cool cuz they can add numbers in their head. AP English. Amazing. Tons of amazing people. Epic teacher. AP Geography. Ehh. Not bad. World History Reading with Mr. Haropat = funn (: .

I wrote this down for the sake of rememberance...I remember how scared I was. I remember how terrible the first day was. I remember how many hard days I had.

But it's only gotta get easier from here. Thank God.

Doesn't mean I'm not gonna have hard days, and I'm gonna cry some more...but for now. I need sleep. (:

12 replies:

Siriana said...

its so good to see you back Bekah! :) been praying for you!
always praying,

Katie said...

Ya, I'm an "eighth-grade freshman" as well, I'm still homeschool though and lovin' it. I know different things work for different people though.

I hope He blesses you as you continue to further HIS kingdom. Don't be afraid to know HIM, because HE wasn't afraid to know you... or me :)

Blessings Always,

[Laurea] said...

I'm so glad you love public school! So do I, most of the time. ;)


Anna Gray said...

I'm so glad you are liking it! I went to public school for two years (k-1st grade) and then was homeschooled. I made sure to keep you in my prayers and still will! =)

Sarah said...

Keep it up, Bekah!! You can and will make it through this school year. After all, you can do all things through Christ, because He strengthens you (Philippians 4:13).

I am also a freshman, but I must look older or something, because everyone assumes I'm a junior. They seem surprised to see me hanging out with my sophomore friends. They say things like "Seriously, I thought that you were an upperclassman! I had no idea you were a sophomore!" It can be really irritating to have to correct them. I feel for you.


Elizabeth Rose said...

I'm so glad you're back, and I'm so glad you love public school! Sorry that the kids in that one class are being rude--you just prove them wrong and get straight A's! No matter what, always remember that what they say and think doesn't matter. What matters is what God thinks. And He'll always love you. Stick in there, girl, and do the very best that you can.

As for the other classes: great! It makes me happy that you have a bunch of friends. And seriously, the same "You're only in 8th grade? I thought you were in ___ grade" thing happens to me ALL THE TIME. I'm your age, and yet people always think I'm a senior. "Nope, sorry, not for 4 more years." :)

Love you!

Elizabeth Rose

Rachel B said...

Stay with it, girly! Don't let the world get you down!

I've never been in your shoes, but I do have a vivid imagination and I'll be praying that God fills you with His strength for your trials to come!


BARBIE said...

So glad you are liking school. Sorry about the immature students in your Chem class. No fun. Please don't cry anymore. You are an amazingly gifted young lady and God has BIG plans for you!

Autumn said...

So glad you are back! In rehards to school you sound like your doing a fine job with everything! I'll pray that it continues to be smooth skating for you .

Bree said...

So glad your back, Bekah dear! I hope school does get better. Also, I am ahead of my grades to. When I tell people I am n such and such math book, and they are in one a grade behind me, their jaws drop. Yeah, embarassing.


Christina said...

I'm glad it's going so well! I can totally understand the bumps and bits of crappiness (especially because I'm in college classes and I'm still in high school, and people look at me funny and watch me), but God is there.

Funny. God being there doesn't mean it's perfect. It just means he'll pull you through when you reach for him. Even when you don't. :)

Eldarwen said...

Barbie said it all. You are amazingly talented, and God does have big plans for you! Don't let your class mates make you upset because of the way they're treating you. Being smart is nothing to be ashamed of. Don't let them get to you. :) When you have bad days, and you feel all alone in the world, just remember that God is always there for you. And so are we, right here on blogger. :) Stay strong Bekah! You can do it!


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