I have been a Christian all my life. I have grown up (and am growing up) in a Christian household. I have Christian family, Christian relatives and Christian friends. I own two Bibles. I keep one on my bedstand and one in the living room. I read it every morning and every night. I pray every morning, every night, and before every meal. I participate in Bible time with my family. I have Bible verses and meaningful poems all over my walls. I have memorized Philippians and James, and countless other verses.
Sound like the perfect Christian?
In deeds, maybe. In spirit?
I used to think so. But lately...I'm not so sure.
Sunday morning was when I first realized that maybe I'm only following the letter of the law--but am avoiding the spirit of it all. My "Sunday-school teacher" (Hate that term, makes Sunday morning sound like school--which, in a way, it is...but in every way, it's not. Does that make sense?) explained how, in the Old Testament, there was a check-list, of sorts. The OT gave a list of strict rules: Don't murder. Don't commit adultery. Love your neighbor. It implied that if you followed these rules, you would go to heaven. Jesus says something else though: Yeah, I don't want you to murder, but don't even get angry. Don't commit adultery, but don't even have lust. Love your neighbor, true, but even love your enemy.
He rose the standard.
While I was listening to my awesome teacher, I realized that I really am not following the spirit of the law. I obviously haven't murdered anyone, I most definitely haven't commited adultery (obviously not married, but still), and how easy is it to love your friends? Super easy.
I have gotten angry--countless times. Haven't felt lust yet--but I'm only twelve. No idea how hard it gets later. And I dislike my "enemies"--strongly.
What else have I done completely wrong? I wondered.
Then Monday morning it hit me.
I realized that I took prayer for granted. I had unconsciously defined prayer as a way to get what I want, when I want...I took advantage of the fact that the most powerful being ever imaginable listened to me. Prayer changed from something sacred and real, to an Aladdin's lamp--I limited God, picturing him as a genie, of sorts. I began cluttering up my prayers with unnecessary wants and selfish desires. I prayed for certain things to happen to me; I prayed for certain people to stop bugging me; I prayed, I prayed, and I prayed...but for the completely wrong things.
So...I decided to pray four times per day, at scheduled times. Like the Jews do--but just for a week. And I resolved to keep the prayers off of my personal worldly needs--like sleepovers, belongings, etc.
It's been working great so far. I pray at nine o'clock, twelve o'clock, three o'clock and six o'clock. Instead of praying about worldly needs/wants, I pray that God would give me the inner qualities spoken of in 1 Corinthians 13, in Philipians, in James, in the Beautitudes.
I'm not exactly sure why I love the scheduled prayer type of thing...maybe it's because I feel like, in the middle of whatever I'm doing, God is willing to listen to me.
He is willing to listen to my prayers. He is willing to answer them.
He is ready to forgive my past carelessness.
Don't we have an amazing God?
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Prayer--Potent, but Taken for Granted
Composed of but not limited to:
forgiveness,
God,
heavy thoughts,
prayer
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