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Monday, June 21, 2010

let this week last forever

My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic
Pace of the world, I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together, I'm falling apart

Slow me down, don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down
Emmy Rossum
I turn thirteen on Sunday. It feels like my life has flown by me so fast. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was excited about going to China. That was eight years ago. It seems like just yesterday when I was escastic about creating my bank account. That was three years ago. It seems like just yesterday I moved up into the junior high group at church as a seventh-grader. That was a year ago. Now I'm the one welcoming the seventh-graders...I feel so old. I'm ninth-grade, a highschooler, in the fall. In two school years, I'm starting college classes full-time.

I'll be done with college at twenty years old. It'll be weird, to be twenty. Before I know it, I will be twenty. Time goes by that fast. It'll seem like just yesterday that I was on the verge of a teenager, looking towards thirteen, saying good-bye to twelve. Coming to terms with growing-up.

Let this week last forever. Let it be the longest week of my life. Let it be a single week that doesn't fly by me at the speed of sound. Let it be a week in which I can breathe and in which I can reflect...and let Sunday dawn on me, ready to be a teenager. I don't want to be sad to be a teenager. I'm excited, but there is a seed of sadness that I hope will be uprooted over the week. I want to look to the future with happiness.

But for now? I look at these pictures, telling the story of my life. Sunday will come, too fast. Growing up will come too fast. But it is not a bad thing, growing up. There's no need for nostalgia. But I can still feel a twinge of it in my chest as I scroll through my pictures...

And that's me now. But in the blink of an eye, it will be five years from now. God help me appreciate life before the time slips away.

13 replies:

Alexandra said...

Time does speed by us all fast...too fast...

Well, I hope you have an amazing 13th birthday! ^^

{You're *so* pretty, by the way!}

Eldarwen said...

Oh yes, time flies! I hope your 13th birthday is super special for ya! :D

Jacqueline said...

I love all the pictures of when you were younger with your sibs, so cute! Hope you have an awesome birthday. You'll enjoy 13. :)

Katie said...

Oh time does speed up really fast! I'm going into 9th grade as well and it does seem like yesterday I was going into Jr. High... (I'm homeschooled)
Happy Birthday!! I turned 13 four months ago..... I know you'll enjoy it!!
The pix were cute!!

[Laurea] said...

Beautiful post, Bekah. I agree, time does fly by fast. When I became 13, though, it didn't feel any different than the day before when I was twelve. Becoming a teenager doesn't happen overnight.


Jordyn said...

Bekah- those pictures are SO cute! I totally remember you looking like you do in some of those- especially the middle ones. :) You're an awesome sister- you know that? I understand where you're coming from with all this- but I actually have an opposite view. I mean, instead of having 'only four years till college' it's 'boy- I've still got four whole years to grow and learn'. You know what I mean? We'll have to discuss this matter next time we get together, okie doke?

Anonymous said...

I have your birthday written down on my calender. :) :) Yeah i know how it feels, it seems only yesterday I was a little girl prancing around the house "pretending" to be 'grown-up'. Next spring I graduate from school...

Love ya, my glorious nearly-thirteen friend,
Awel P.

Hope Marie said...

Have a awesome birthday!!!

Rachelle14 said...

I have to say that I'm very proud of you for not wishing your life away. I did that and now I regret it. The best advise I was ever given was to live in every moment. Happy Birthday!

Kat Heckenbach said...

My first reaction is to want to tell you that thirteen is SO YOUNG. You write as if you're heading into old age :). But, I'm glad you see NOW that life is precious and shouldn't be rushed through. Most of us don't figure that out until much, much later in life. I know I didn't. Now there are days when I'd love to return to thirteen--but with the knowledge I have now :). There are so many things I'd do differently and so many things I'd appreciate more!

I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Cherish it, and all the memories you'll carry with you from that day!

carlotta said...

I agree with'll enjoy 13. Finally a teenager! To tell you the truth, being thirteen didn't feel much different than twelve does...but I understand that you don't want to rush through life so quickly.

♥Bleah♥Briann♥ said...

I have a request... feel free to deny it:

On my blog for the summer, I'm having an event called "the summer of my traveling moccassins" and I was wondering if there is anyway, you could KEEP my background and banner you have now, but over the header you could but a banner that says. "The summer of my traveling moccassins." As if someone just took some not matching... like red with yellow writing sign and hung it over my "with love and kisses" banner. I dunno if thats possible but I think that would just be cool.

With Love and Blessings,
Bleah Briann

Ithilwen said...

lovely lovely pictures! I especially love the last one! =D

So do you write? What do you write/ I write fantasy too =) I love to write =D

What colour do you like? Blue, green, pink, red? =) Tell me about yourself, girly =) remember, I'm Awel Prince's sis, so you can trust me ;) Don't believe me, ask her if a nut named Ithilwen is her sister (also known as Pepper Darcy =)

Love and lots of hugs,Ithilwen

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