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Saturday, May 8, 2010

"You have to be sad sometimes, otherwise you forget what it's like to be happy."

Who can understand how God works? He knows all things, sees all things - His ways are perfect, flawless, and whatever He makes happen, happens for a reason.

Yet sometimes He is just so confusing. I know I can't ever comprehend Him - and He created me, He knows what is best for me.

I have been going through a lot - mostly all spiritual stuff. Relapsing into that valley of deadness again. Is there any end to this vicious cycle? Dead. Renewed. Dead. Renewed. Dead. Renewed. Over and over and over.

I've been talking with a few of my best friends a lot recently. A lot of them are going through so much trouble, and so much pain. When they thought their life was getting better, it took a terrible twist and both were left in shock. Wave after wave of bad things happened to them.

My friend said this to me one day:
Bekah, I want to go back to when getting high was on the swing and your biggest worry was what outfit to wear in the morning.
Those young days, four or five years old, eight or nine even. Filled with simple trust, innocent perspective, no cares in the world. If only we could regain that simple trust, that innocence. If only we could shake that anxiety.

I know so many friends who have said to me the exact same thing, different phrasing, but same core. "I want to go back, Bekah. I want to go back."

Jesus said the children would lead us, and I never truly understood until now. I look at my younger siblings and ache for what they have.

And I believe I can regain this simple trust, this innocent perspective. I believe I can shake this constant anxiety. How?


My friend had so much going on, much more than I did. She said to me she couldn't ever imagine how her life could possibly get any worse. Then she texts me one morning. She said she had spent almost two hours last night, praying. Praying her heart and soul out. Crying, yes. Feeling angry at God, yes. But praying to Him, pleading with Him to renew her, to change her life in a radical way.

And when she got to school that day? Her two dear friends who had turned their backs on her, who had gossiped about her, who had made up ugly lies about her and spread them everywhere, who swore at her, who blocked her on Facebook, who insulted her and then completely ignored her - they talked to her today. Saying their sorry, and wanting to still be friends.

My friend is still really hurt by what they did to her, but she gave them a second chance. She was willing to redo their friendship. To start over. Completely start over. She is my best friend and I can learn so much from her. God put her in my life for a big reason: to help me grow, to help me accept past mistakes, to help me become a better person.

But what happened to my friend at school that day: PRAYER did that. Letting God in on the daily struggles, in on those friends that are being cruel - He will HEAL it. He granted my friend forgiveness and willingness to give her friends a second chance. Shutting Him out solves nothing.

Pray. That is the only advice that I have for those many friends that run to me when their life is ruined. Pray. Pray. Pray. The power of prayer is beyond our comprehension. Prayer works in many ways, some unseen and some seen. Prayer gives us strength to continue on, gives us God's heart and God's ways.

God has blessed me in so many ways. I just have to say that. My dear friend wrote me this card. I would post a picture of it, but it's on my phone. In it she said, among other things, "If you live to be a 100, I will want to live to be a 100 and 1 day so I will never have to live without you." My other dear friend wrote this to me: "You listen to me and try to explain stuff to me, even when you hardly know what to do yourself, and like even when I dont know what to do, and we are like in the exact some place in life, you always help me and say "yeah, I know," or "I love you" and you just help me alot, and help me make right decisions." I am seriously SO blessed by my friends. By my family.

Who can look at this and say they're not blessed?

16 replies:

Jordyn said...

I love this post, Bekah. Wow, I really really love it. I lvoe you too, sooooo much! I cannot wait to see you tomorrow- no, TODAY!!! Yay! See you soon, Berky-derk :)

Jenna said...

Bekah, honny. I love you so much. This post totally touched my heart. You will make it through this. I sure did.
I love you Best Friend :)

Cassie said...

This post is really 'me' right now. I feel like I'm going through a 'high' time right now, but only because I've been through and remember so very many terrible 'low' times in my life!

Prayer works miracles. I've seen it happen.

Love you!

Your friend,

Lindsay said...

Wonderful post, Bekah... very encouraging!!

Marissa said...

This is an amazing post girl! I know what you mean, what your going through. I've been there. Right now I think I'm sort is between being in a high and a low.
I find that listening to music helps me a lot. Tenth Avenue North. Oh my. They are so amazing. Can't wait for there new CD to come out.

Prayer is one amazing thing. Seriously. Prayer is SO powerful! And we see its workings over and over and over again.

I'll be praying for you girlie!! :D


Amber said...

Prayer IS powerful. Thank you for this encouraging post.

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean, Bekah. I just posted something similar because of this post and Hannah's. :)

Love you,

Stephani said...

You're working it out with God and that's the only way to work it out. It's okay to ask God questions. What child doesn't ask their earthly father questions when they don't understand something? Our heavenlty Father longs for us to ask him questions, and he will most definitely answer. This is one way we learn. Seek and you shall find. I'm proud of you for seeking the answers in Christ, and not outside of him. Thanks for sharing!

Crystal Stars said...

My friend showed this to me, and a must say, you are an amazing writer. This post is so awesome, i must say. ^_^ really touched me, truly. to relate to your post, i prayed about a friend who wasn't going to give me a second chance on a relationship that went wrong even though we were the only person the other had for a long time. I don't know, and still don't know what happened to destroy it, and i spent a whole night crying and praying to God to save this if that was his will. The other day she came up to me a cried and we hugged cause i'm moving soon. God is amazing. Isn't He? keep it up hun

Nicole said...

Beautiful post!

♥Bleah♥Briann♥ said...

Hello! I love this post...its beautiful!

Also, so I was oh so curious... *wink* if you might be able to make me a button for my blog...and I was also, still wondering you could do that customized font or whatever it was you were talking about. If you need my information again I'll give it to you. But I was wanting a button. But if you're to busy thats okay.

Anna Gray said...

Great post, Bekah! You are 100% right about prayer being the answer. It really is. =)

-check out my blog - you've been tagged!

Carol said...

What you wrote is so true, I have to agree with you, and you write very good too, keep on writing cause I like to read what you write.

=) God bless you

Your friend in Christ from Malaysia,
Carol =)

Lizzy Bennet said...

Wow, that was amazing, Bekah! And I totally agree with you. Prayer does work miracles.

Thanks for posting your thoughts - they were very inspirational!


Näna said...

AMAZING post, Bekah. Those times of darkness almost turn out to be a blessing when it makes us fall on our knees in prayer. It's almost like God say, "Yes, I have take you through this. BUT IT'S GOING TO BE OK! Because on the other end you will be closer to ME and then it will all be worth it!"

Several years back, my family went through a very, very, very dark valley. From legal trials to terrible sins of the past being brought back to even having a little girl we were adopting taken away from us, all this. But yet I don't think I would want it changed it I could. Because through it all we had no one to lean on. So we looked to Christ in prayer and her brought us through.

Praise God He's who He is!


Emily said...

Hi, Bekah. I just found your blog and it is amazing. I've been going through a tough situation with a friend, and this post just reminded me that I need to keep on praying. Keep up the good work!


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