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Thursday, April 29, 2010

It's Over. That what I need to's OVER.

Thank you all so much for your beautiful wonderful comments. As I was laying in the hospital bed crying because my head and arm hurt so bad, I read your comments from my phone...and it made everything so much better. Like seriously, I can't tell you how much they boosted my attitude. I knew that it was gonna be okay because I had all of my crazy awesome blogger friends praying for me. :-)

So let me just start at the beginning, when everything started going wrong and we had to go to the hospital. I was bleeding abnormally long, and so that's why we went to the doctor in the first place. Doctor Albert checked my blood, did some tests, and sent me home. We got a call a few days ago saying that everything was normal.

But my momma was concerned because I had been feeling so weak, and looking so pale. So she called the office and they told her to bring me in. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Oh my gosh, you are SO pale!" She even went so far as to say I looked like a ghost, and coming from a doctor, that can't be good.

I took some pictures of myself before I went, and looking at them now, I am amazed. My face was literally dead white, my lips were the same color as my skin, I had purple bags and red eyes. I can't believe I even went in public with my color the way it was.

So Tuesday afternoon, Doctor Albert told me I needed to get some more tests. So Momma and I walked to the lab, and I remember wishing that I could go home and go to bed. My vision was cracking and my knees were wobbling, my head aching. It wasn't that great.

I entered the lab, was seated in one of those big chairs, and the nurse got one of those scary knifes hidden in a box. She slid the tip of my finger into the rounded corner in the small knife-box, and clicked a button. The blade gashed my finger, and the nurse squeezed it to get blood out. Finger-pricks don't sound very painful, do they?  But your fingers have many many nerves on the tips, because they touch so many things. So yeah. It was painful. It was to test my hemoglobin, and she got the bottle with my blood and gave it to the doctor to test.

Then she got another box thing with a hidden blade, and cut my arm this time, right next to my other cut from a few weeks ago. She timed how long it took for me to stop bleeding.

Normally, it takes eight or ten minutes. Ten minutes max. It took me sixteen minutes to slow down, and even then the bleeding didn't stop completely. So the nurse was concerned about that. But before she could do anything, she got a message from the doctor, requesting that we go back to the room immediately. Which means something isn't right.

Doctor Albert said that the normal hemoglobin level is 12-18. My hemoglobin was 5.3. Which is EXTREMELY low. She said I needed to get wheelchaired to the emergency room immediately and after that, ambulenced to Minneapolis (about an hour away) to the Children's hospital to get more speciliazed care. I didn't know what that meant, all I heard was "ambulenced." I was really excited, I gotta say. I mean, seriously, AMBULENCED? How awesome! Mmm. Not. (Thankfully, I didn't end up being ambulenced to Minneapolis.)

I was wheeled to the ER. I was put in a side-room, and was told to undress. I had already gone through so much and was in so much pain I didn't even care. I was dressed by a nurse in a hospital gown, and hooked up to an IV, which is where they put a needle in your arm and then stick a tube in there so they can pour whatever they need to pour into your body.

A  woman doctor came in, and took my blood pressure and temps and such and then left. I waited there forever. Momma and Daddy came and sat with me, and Grandma too. Hours crawled past. My doctors appointment was at 3:30. I got to the ER at 5:15. A lot of nurses came and went, asked me questions, felt around, took my blood pressure/temps, etc. I had to go get an ultrasound to make sure there wasn't anything in my ovaries. I felt like I was pregnant. Ultrasounds, IV, those stupid hospital gowns, that annoying "Hugs" bracelet to make sure I didn't sleepwalk...I had it all.

At about 7:00, the main doctor finally came in, and asked some questions. Then he took a blood sample again, in my other arm that wasn't hooked up to the IV, and then came back a while later, and said that my blood type was AB+. AB- is the most uncommon blood type, but AB+ was the next uncommon. They didn't have my blood type in the "blood bank" (what a COOL name!) so they couldn't pump blood into me, so they needed to get the blood from a different state's blood bank. It was five hours before the blood even arrived at the hospital, and another hour before it was screened and tested and ready to pump into me.

At around midnight, they hooked me up to a blood-pump and began giving me blood. I received two units, and it takes two or three hours to pump one unit. It was about five o'clock in the morning before all the blood was finally in me. I slept a little bit during the blood transfusion, but not much because it was very uncomfortable. I remember laying there on my bed, just staring into the darkness. I fingered violin songs on my bedspread to keep my arm from going numb. I repeated verses that I had memorized in my head to keep from crying. (It was very hard to lay there, feeling blood pumping into you, remembering having to expose your whole body to complete strangers and letting them feel you and poke you and stick their fingers  and their needles and probes everywhere)

The doctors have to wait four hours before they can test my hemoglobin again and get accurate readings. So at about 8:45 that morning, they came in, shot a needle in my arm and drew blood. My momma and I waited around the whole morning, watching I love Lucy and Little House on the Prairie (I love both of these shows, but they get really old REALLY fast). At noon, a doctor came in, and told me I needed one more unit of blood. That was so hard. By that time, I wanted out. I didn't want to stick around for another three hours.

But I didn't really have a choice. My hemoglobin was still pretty low, and I wasn't completely out of  the woods, so I needed that extra unit.

You know what I hate about the hospital? You have no control over your situation. The doctors need to poke you with needles, undress you, take your blood? You can't say no. It's for YOUR health, but its YOUR body, you're the one who has to deal with uncomfort and pain. I hate when doctors pull a huge needle on you and say "this will only pinch for a second" and then give you the worst shot of your life. I hate when doctors ask you personal questions, and talk about your bleeding like they are discussing the weather. I hate hospital food. It almost made me throw up. I HATE hospital food. I had next to no food throughout my long stay there, and I lost two and a half pounds.

These last few days have been hard. The worst days of my life. But you all helped through it, Hannah left me a sweet voicemail that I listened to at least five times, Jenna texted me through the whole process and stayed up super late even though she had school the next day, and the nurses were kind. I have bruises and gashes and pokes on my arms, but my lips are re-gaining color and I can RUN up the stairs without being out of breath (believe me, that is SO nice). Even though I'm technically not supposed to ("absolutely no physical strain whatsoever").

I'm exhausted. But I feel better. I have to forget the needles, the pain, the awkwardness, the probing, the tests. I have to remember your AMAZING comments, my nearness to God, my amazing friends, my amazing family.

What really made me feel bad about this whole thing was that yesterday was Ab's birthday. Momma had to be at the hospital all night and wasn't there to wake her up by singing happy birthday. She wasn't there to take pictures of her eating doughnuts. She wasn't there to take her for ice-cream early in the morning. She wasn't there to pamper her and make her feel special because she was with me at the ER. And yesterday was Daddy's BIG presentation at work. He got no sleep two nights ago, and little sleep Tuesday night (staying with me until like midnight), so he was tired for his presentation. He did really well, but I'm sure he would have done even better if I hadn't been shipped to the hospital. It wasn't my fault, I know that, know. I can't help but feeling bad.

You guys have helped me SO much, and I just want to give you a huge HUG for being there for me! :-)

All that I have to do now is take it easy and get my hemoglobin up there again. No more needles and blood. Hallelujah. :-)

33 replies:

Hannah said...

Oh, sweet Bekah dearest...I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I'm so glad my voice mail helped you...I knew you'd do the same for me, and I really wanted to give you something to hold onto. Just to try to get you to laugh or smile again.

I'm so sorry about all that junk you dealt with, but I'm SO glad you're feeling better.


The Golden Eagle said...

That sounds positively horrible.

I'm happy your feeling better now, and I hope that you get back to your more usual self. :)

Izori said...

Yay! I'm so glad you're better! I'm really sorry all that happened.

Megan said...

wow. that sound really bad!!! I'm really glad you're okay! I didn't even know you were going though this because I've been really busy the past few days and haven't checked my blog... I seriously WOULD have commented though! :)

I hope the rest of the week goes a WHOLE LOT BETTER! :) :D

~Megan <3

Cassie said...

Darling, Bekah.... you went through so much!!! I'm still praying for you and I hope that you continue to recover.

Praise the LORD!

Your friend,

P.S. I agree about hospital food. :p

Kristin said...

I'm so sorry you've been having to go through all of that! I don't like hospitals and dr appts either. I hope you are feeling much better!!

Evergreena said...

Oh, Bekah, that sounds awful! I hope you're feeling better, and I hope you never have to go through all that again! :(

And don't feel bad! It's not your fault at all that you had to go to the hospital. I'm sure your family is just glad that you're all right.

I'll keep praying for you!

Jordyn said...

I am SO happy that you're home! I prayed all night, especially whenever someone walked up and asked me about you. :) I cannot wait to see you today, for however short a time. YAY! Oh, I also want to see the results of your "Hulk blood" :)
Love you dear!

Abigail Kraft said...

Yaaaaay Bekah!!!! What a trooper you are. ^_^ Your hospital stay sounds absolutely horrifying...but I'm so glad that you came through it, and now you have a battle scar of a memory to encourage others when they go through similar things. How awesome is that!? =) I'm still praying for you, and I hope you just feel better and better!

I love you dearest!

P.S. I know your family was glad to be there for you. That's the thing about love...there are no inconveniences--just love. :)

Siriana said...

Keeping you in our prayers!

Anonymous said...

Oooh, Bekah!! how terrible! I just found out via Marissa! I'm so glad you're feeling better! I'll pray you recover and get back to your normal chipper self soon!! :)

Love & Hugs,
Awel P.

Psalm 34:4-7, I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him, And saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them.


glad you are feeling better - im sure it was very difficult. be blessed.

Vickychick said...

Oh I'm soooo sorry! I'm glad you're feeling better! I can't even imagine what you had to go through! I'll be praying that oyu make a fast recovery!

God blees,

Christinie said...

I'm praying! I was at 6 it is not fun at all!! Hope they get you up and at it soon!! Rest well!

Anonymous said...

oh gosh, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that!!!

that doesn't sound like a very good hospital, either. My dad works at one, and the food is really good there, and everything, but i know what else you're talking about.....

once again, really sorry, glad you're feeling better, and I'll continue to pray for your furthering recovery!!!

Linda said...

You sure went through a lot. I hope it only gets better from here on. And that you will feel stronger real soon.

I just heard about it today, but I am glad all of your blog friends were praying for you.

You are so grown up for a twelve year old...very mature and wise. I pray God's abundant blessings upon you sweetie.

Love, Abigail's Grandma Linda
@ Truthful Tidbits

Melody said...

Oh, that sounds horrible. You are a real trooper to go through all that! Thank God it's over! I'll continue to pray that you will recover quickly. :)

And don't feel bad about your family having to sacrifice. That's what love is for - to put others above yourself. And I'm sure they're praising God for bringing you through this!


Kat Heckenbach said...

Wow Bekah, I didn't realize you were going through all that, or I would have been praying for you! I'm glad you're doing better. I know EXACTLY how scary it is to be poked and prodded in the hospital, and having to get blood taken (and given). I'll keep ya in my prayers from now on, though.

Stephani said...

I was praying for you. Glad you are home. That's an answer to prayer!

Emily Shae said...

Oh Bekah! You poor sweet thing! I didn't even know all this was happening to you. Shame on me. If only I had known...I could have been praying for you. I understand your situation completely. I've been there before, and it isn't fun. But from know on I'll be praying for you, not matter what.


Anna Gray said...

Oh my word, I am SO glad that you are ok! You gave everyone quite a scare (including myself) when we saw Hannah's post saying you were at the hospital. I made sure to pray for you after I read her post. So sorry you had to go through all of that!

Glad you're back and that the hospital days are over!

Love you!

Charity said...

Oh Bekah dear...
I'm so sorry. I didn't even know what was going on... now I know why I didn't hear from you. That is awful...
I will pray for you!
Big, big hugs...
[1 Chronicles 16:23-36]

Eldarwen said...

Dearest Bekah, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that! *giving big hugs back* I'm so glad it's over! *big hugs again*


Lindsay said...

Oh, Bekah.... I'm SO glad to hear that you're back home again!! I'm thinking about you and praying too. I hope you're back to your normal self soon! :-)

~ Love & Hugs,
Lindsay <3

carissa @ lowercase letters said...

i've been praying for you and am so glad that you are home now. you take good care of your sweet self! praise the Lord for healing you!

on a much lighter note... i can't believe you've given up sugar for a whole year! your family rocks!

Renae said...

Oh my. Sounds positively atrocious. I have never been to the hospital for anything pertaining to myself either than birth, so I have absolutely no idea what you are going through. In addition to all your other friends I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you, and that I really think you should read Psalm 91. My momma has a little plaque thing of it next to this computer, and I started to write this my eyes kept straying to and rereading the verse. Your quite the woman. Just know that,"All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord."

Jenna said...

I even txted you during school. :)
Anything for my BEst friend :) Im so glad you are okay. I was praying constantly. I was a wreck the whole time you were there. Iam SO incredibly happy you are okay.
I love you

Milli said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I hope you're feeling a lot better!


Memzie said...

My goodness! I am so sorry! Your story had me grimacing.

I am glad everything is going okay now and I hope your health continues to improve.

Alexandra said...

Wow--I'm terribly sorry you had to go through ALL of that horrible stuff. The hospital food, undressing, blood tests...everything.

I must say, that you acted very brave. If that was me, I probably would've started crying by the 3rd needle, and definitely chickened out for the blood tranfusion. I can't imagine how painful that all was...

But, hey, at least it's over with, right? =)

Hope your health continues to improve, allowing you to be more active.


Erin said...

Oh Bekah! I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that! I'm glad you're better though. I've been there before. All the needles and stuff. I hate it.


Siminy said...

It's great to know you are feeling better!

I awarded you too.

b.b.flockling * Rose said...

What great courage you showed during that ORDEAL!! God will certainly bring forth much *good* from it because of your unwavering faith and good nature. You are quite a wonderful example for us all!

love, Rose

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