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Thursday, April 8, 2010

You know those little things....

....that take so much out of you? Those itty bitty things that shouldn't annoy the crud out of you but do?

Ahhh. My day has been filled with them, or rather, the past few weeks.

I've been having...well let's put it this way: I've been having some friend problems. I've always thought of my friends as incredible, flawless, amazing, etc. But the people who I always thought would be with me have been drifting away.

The little things they say, I say, they do, I do--they are like pin-pricks. The little things keep pricking, and pricking--constantly, some days more than others--and I honestly am going to scream from frustration. I can only take so many pin-pricks, you know?

And my friends are amazing. But we've been growing up, and our relationships have been changing as we are changing--the friendships which I thought I could depend upon forever are crumbling beneath my feet.

It started out with a simple question.

"Is everything okay?" Mom asked.

And the truth was, everything wasn't okay, and I was really hoping that she would ask that question so I could talk about it.

Those pin-pricks, they hurt. When a friend doesn't hug you good-bye, or makes an off-hand comment, or puts you down in front of other people, or laughs at your habits--that hurts. It really hurts. And I hate hiding my hurt, because it makes it worse.

I talked with my momma for about an hour, about all the things that have been accumulating between me and my friends for months. The little things she said, and she did: they uplifted me. They put me back together, and ameliorated my pain.

There are a lot of little things in life, and there are a lot of big things.

Some little things make you hurt, like when you get made fun of in front of everyone.

But some little things make you feel so good...

Like an email from your mom that makes your whole day:
I LOVE your new picture on your blog! It is so nice! I tried to comment, but still was lost……
Mom
Or a cute picture that you stumble upon that makes you start laughing even though it's not that funny...
These little things, they make life sweet. And I can't hold on to the little things that sting, they're just going to make me feel worse. I have to remember that hour-long talk, that email, that picture.

And that talk with my mom, made me realize:

It's not my friends that are truly important, it's my family.

You know what they say, after all....

Friends may come and go, but family is forever.

12 replies:

Jenna said...

So true Bekah, I will always be here for you too. :)
I love youu
Jenna

Renae said...

Hey girl.
Cheer up. God loves you, and I am praying for you. Your blog post today reminded me of the beginning of my year last year. It was pretty terrible. All my friends seemed to be drifting, and though I went and still go to a Christian school it seemed like I was the only one who was still holding on to God and his promises. Keep clutching, and you'll make it through. Sure, the pinpricks hurt, but always remember one thing.

You are not a pincushion.
Take this from a girl around your age who has gone down a similar road and has been pricked where it hurts. (=

Kailyn said...

Great post, Bekah! I'm so sorry you're having friend troubles... I know how that feels! There are few things that hurt so badly or cut so deep as the ones closest to you turning away!

Our friends may not last. Some day, we all will fade away -- even our families! But the love we shared will go on. Even when everything and everyone else is gone, God will never cease! There is nothing more comfortingly sweet, and I love Him so much! =)

Praying for you!

Love,
♥ Kailyn

Melody said...

aw, I know how it seems to be the little things with friends that can sometimes hurt the most. :( It always helps to talk to your mom though! :)

Blessings,

~Melody

Anna Gray said...

All I can say....is I'm going through the same thing.

Praying for you!

Luv ya!

-Anna =)

Melian said...

Oh, Bekah, thank you! I can't tell you how much I needed to read this.

So much has happened since I posted about Buddy Day. A friend became agnostic and because of that there's a rift between us now. So much can happen in the span of a few weeks.

Thank you. That's all I can say.

--Melian

Stephani said...

It sounds like your mom is a wonderful friend. This is a great thing to realize at such a young age. She will always be your advocate. Some friendships get torn, but then they are mended. Others, well they just go in a direction that is hard to shift into reverse. Not all friendships are meant to last forever, yet there are some that will. All you are called to do is love. Cherish what you had with them, what you still have with them, and what you might have in the future. You can also look with anticipation to what new and exciting friends will come into your life in the years to come. There will be many. You're God's girl, and he'll work it all out! Blessings to you sweetie.

Eldarwen said...

Bekah, I know exactly what you're talking about! I have had sooooo many problems with friends who do things like that to me. I have never, ever had a friend who has loved me, and stayed with me through thick and thin, besides my older sister. Even now I am struggling with an issue between me and a friend. She doesn't respect my little sisters (who are adopted and have a few, slight mental issues) and she can be very snotty and even sometimes very, very hateful to them, constantly putting them down. It bothered me for a while, but I didn't want to tell my mom because I was afraid my mom might get really upset with my friend, and I thought I could fix it myself. Big mistake. I've learned all throughout my 15 years of life, that you DO NOT keep anything from you mom! :) I told her the problem, and that my friend even started disrespecting me, and putting me down, as well as my sisters. It was eating me away, little by little. I was becoming bitter, upset, sober, depressed, ashamed of myself and I would get so frustrated very easily at the smallest thing that didn't go my way. My mom told me to just pray for my friend. To ask God to pour out His blessings upon her. Mom told me to ask God to help me be a Christ-like friend to her, even if she disrespected me. I haven't spoken to my friend in a while (merely because I've been so busy, and recently haven't been able to attend Church, due to my dad's Therapy, and Church is the only place I see her), but I continually pray for her, everyday. She thinks she's saved, and that's what scares me, because I see the way she lives and the things she does, and I know that there's something missing. I will be praying for you and your friend(s). I know it's difficult, but, yeah, mom's are always there for you. ;) And you're right, families are forever!

{Love & hugs}
Eldarwen

Jare and Lib said...

Whoa, reading your post Bekah, was like reading my mind.

I sometimes fight with myself about the same thing, then I run to my trusty family and I feel better about it.
I totally agree with you - some of my childhood friends that I thought would last forever and ever (you know - saying she would be a bridesmaids or godmother etc. etc.), then suddenly they just, aren’t.
I have found that I can "play" with some of those but can't really "talk" with them - our views are different and I don't, I do not want to fight about them.
Those little pin-pricks do hurt Bekah – and I know them and I didn’t really think anyone else did. I’m sorry that they do – they shouldn’t.
Many hugs from a blogging friend,
-Libby

Hannah said...

Bekah-

I'm thankful that our friendship is honest and open. I'll be praying for you.

Love,
--Hannah

Joni said...

Dear Bekah,

You are most certainly not alone in what you're going through. I went through something similar with my friends several years back. We were as close as we could be- sisters it seemed. Then, we grew apart. Some would make decisions I didn't agree with, others were mean and then there were those that just no longer cared.
It hurts, Bekah, I know it hurts. Some days- a lot of days- I still feel the pain.
My mom became my best friend. Moms are wonderful like that- comforting and knowing just what to say, having been through so much themselves. Even if my mom doesn't know what to say, her just being there, loving me, it helps.
Someone else was/is there as well, all the time: God. There is a part of me that is grateful, maybe not about my loneliness and pain, but how it brought/brings me closer to God. Being alone made me look and see how He NEVER leaves. I hold a verse from Hebrews 13 close: “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
He is always there.
I'll be praying for you, Bekah. It WILL be alright. My heart goes out to you.

Love from a Daughter,
Joni

Memzie said...

I hope things get better for you. I have been there too.
Hey, how is your Grandmother doing? Is she back to normal after that scary car accident?

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