Simplicity :: How we make life SO complicated...

I slept over at Jenna's house a few nights ago. It was insane - like all sleepovers with your best friend are. :-)

She brought me to church the next morning, and afterwards, her daddy and my daddy tried to coordinate the exchange of my sleepover stuff. Her daddy got in his car with my stuff, my daddy got in his car on the other side of the parking lot, and it took literally twenty minutes for them to finally pull over by each other and exchange the stuff.

It was hilarious because this simple task took so long to execute. It could have taken five minutes, but instead it took twenty.

And it's like...sometimes, I wonder how much harder I'm making it on myself with life in general. Where I could have simplicity, I have complications. Stress, worry, anxiety - all these things are NOT of God. God is peace...

I walk up the stairs, and I'm literally exhuasted. My lungs are stinging, my knees feel like they are made of burning jelly, and I'm breathing as hard as I am after running three miles. That's what happens when I WALK up the stairs. Not run, but WALK.

As of three weeks ago, I could run three miles in 25 minutes (which isn't so great, but, you know, whatever). Now? I can't run up one flight of STEPS much less run three miles! I'm so...so...WEAK. It's like all I can do is sit at my desk and twiddle my thumbs.

Yesterday, it was pretty nice out, and my mom, Peter and I were doing a project outside. Afterwards, Peter snatched a squirt gun and began chasing after me with it. I ran for ten seconds, max, away from him. I was so out of breath that it was impossible for me to keep running. I pretty much just collapsed on the pavement and lay for about five minutes, gasping.

Ten seconds of running did that to me.

I don't know what's happening to me. For the last seven days or so, I have been able to do nothing of physical strain. I feel like a parasite or something, just sitting around, reading, writing, blogging, designing, taking pictures, texting. I used to run two or three times a week, and two or three miles at a time. I lifted weights, did stretches, went golfing, played soccer, did work projects outside - and now, what am I doing? Sitting around, doing nothing.

This whole thing...however blatant this may seem, I am FREAKED.

I had my blood tested a few weeks ago, if you remember, and we heard back from the doctor. My blood is apparently normal, but this intense exhaustion didn't start until a few days after the appointment. So we're going again in a few hours to get my blood tested again (nooo...more needles .__.).

What's happening with my blood is that, well, let's just call it anemia. It's where my body doesn't have enough healthy red blood cells, which account for "fatigue" (one of the main symptoms) and low iron in the blood, which can cause the body to be sick. That's what the doctor suggested, but that was before she tested my blood, so I'm not exactly sure what I have.

It's really just...making my life a lot more complicated. I'm anxious, discouraged, and it's a lot harder for me to laugh and just really enjoy life. It's making me crabby and down all the time...please just pray for me.

I may not be able to run, or exercise vigorously, for a few more weeks...but I just need to look on the brighter side of things. It'll give me more time for these things...

I just need to give all of this anxiety about this to Him...He can carry it a lot better than I can. Prayer would still be really appreciated...I'll keep you posted if we hear anything more. Meanwhile...I'll go help clean up the furnace room (our septic is clogged). Yuck.