Brokenness--The Road to God

Brokenness.

I love the word--there is something beautifully sad about it.

The dictionary defines it as meaning:

reduced to fragments; fragmented; incomplete

In other words, when you are broken you need something. You're "incomplete."

I have been pondering these things lately--I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head, it's hard to intrepret them into comprehensive words and phrases.

God has made many promises. He is a God of promises. Everywhere I look in the Bible there are promises being made.

He promised the Israelites a land for their own. He promised Abraham a son. He promised Noah that He would never flood the earth again. He promised Solomon everything a king could ever want.

Every single one of these promises, God has kept. The Israelites got their own land. Abraham got a son--though he screwed up along the way with the whole Hagar thing. Noah suffered from the flood--he had to stay for forty nights on a boat with a whole bunch of animals. But God promised that that would never happen again--and it hasn't. Solomon was the grandest king in history--just like God said he would be.

God is a God of promises--and every promise that He makes, He will keep.

I am anxious all the time. I have trouble sleeping at night because my heart and mind cannot settle down.

My anxiety is ironic to me, because God promises peace to His followers--but never once have I had consistent peace.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

But God promises peace.

And doesn't God keep His promises?

As I was thinking about this, it occured to me that perhaps I should stop wishing God would give me peace, but believe He has.

What if God has peace for me, but I have been refusing to accept it?

God promises peace. God promises rest. God promises love.

If we don't have these things, it means we don't believe that we can have these things.

Faith is the key to everything.

I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew 17:20

How does this all tie back to brokenness?

Just as faith results in peace, brokenness results in God.

Every long lost dream lead me to where You are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into Your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to You
selah, "bless the broken road"

I have felt the emptiness that comes from trying to live apart from God.

I have felt it. I know it.

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered
I always turn the car around  
o.a.r, "shattered"

I also know the love, the joy, the completeness that is in God's arms.

You are Love, you are Life
You’re the air that I breathe, you’re my day and my night
You’re my Joy, you’re my Peace
You’re the wings for my flight and vision to my sight
You are Truth, you are Power
Gave me faith to believe, brought me straight to my knees
Now I’m standing here in this moment with you
There’s nowhere I’d rather be
beckah shae, "here in this moment"

There is pain. There is brokenness. I know both.

But God breathes life into our brokenness--and we are new.

 The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am, at the end of me
Tryin to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
superchick, "beauty from pain"

Brokenness is the road to God.

When we are at our worst, God finds us.

We are complete in Him.

He will personally come and pick you up, and set you firmly in place, and make you stronger than ever. 1 Peter 5:10

For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels won’t and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God’s love away. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, or where we are—high above the sky or in the deepest ocean—nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when he died for us. Romans 8:38

He personally carried the load of our sins in his own body when he died on the cross so that we can be finished with sin and live a good life from now on. For his wounds have healed ours! 1 Peter 2:24

Note: I thought about peace and brokenness and wrote this post down in a notebook several weeks ago. I haven't had trouble sleeping ever since.