Beautiful Awel's New Meme: 2'sday!

My lovely friend Awel over at Shilah is having a new meme called 2'sday. Her description of it:

A lot of girls' blogs are trying to find something edifying, real, beauitful, and inspiring to post. This gives you that opportunity. Tuesdays here (and maybe on your blogs) are going to have two themes. These themes are going to be two things that I've thought about during the past week, that have challenged and inspired me which I'll pass on to you. Those two things can be something I've read in a book, lyrics of a song, a quote from a famous person, a Bible verse, pictures, memories, or just something that's been laid on my heart—it's simply something that's made you slow down and think. It's a simple way to share your heart with your followers, to let yourself be real to them.

{1} I have been feeling...confused. Confused about my friends in particular - and also about myself. A lot of my friendships have been unraveling, you know? Like suddenly out of the blue, this friend stops talking to me. And I abruptly find myself being really annoyed by another friend, who I used to love to death. And I get in a fight with yet another friend and make up and think everything's going fine and it's not. And then this other friend hurt me, but I can't talk about it to anyone because it hurts too badly.

I don't know what to do in all of these situations - talk about it, forget about it, get ticked about it, cry about it?

Over the past year, part of the discussion my youth group had was about conflict and how to solve it. Jesus tells us to go to the person we have a problem with and talk about it, regardless of whether it's my fault or her fault. We don't wait until that person comes to us - we go to them.

So this week I will try to talk about conflict with these friends. It will hurt, yes. It will be awkward, uncomfortable, and probably will end badly. Some of my friends I don't even want to be friends with anymore - but I don't want to be enemies. Acquaintances, maybe. I'll know them but I won't know them. That's better than being bitter about them.

Friends are a blessing from God, and I need to treat them as such. But some friendships just don't work out. Period. And that isn't something to be angry about or cry about. It's just a fact, that I need to accept.

And besides, I have so many friendships that do work out. And I thank God for these besties every day.

{2} This has not only been a confusing week but a weird week. For several reasons...

I got a frightening email from a friend - frightening as in disturbing. It went places I didn't want to go. I feel so weird now...being a girl can be a bewildering thing sometimes. I feel compelled to reply and end anything that this friend thought was going on...I don't want to hurt this friend, but there is a place to draw the line. So I am praying about it...hopefully I find an easy solution.

I found out that I get to go to the Mall of America in two weeks with Jenna and then have a sleepover - kind of like a birthday party. And I am so excited about that. I think I'm going to explode.

I'm reading Anna Kerenina and Of War and Peace - really really weighty stories. Anna Kerenina makes me feel really depressed - it's an extremely tangled love story, 600+ pages (text is 10 point Times New Roman, single-spaced...a little hard on the eyes). Husbands are unfaithful to their wives, men break young women's hearts and those who deserve each other never end up together. It's a fascinating novel - extremely well-written - but rather depressing.

I feel strange from the email, extremely excited for the MoA, and then pretty depressed from Anna Kerenina. My moods jump sky-ward when I'm playing the violin, droop when I read, jump again when I text Jenna - up and down, up and down. Being moody isn't fun.

As you can tell, my emotions are kind of all mixed together - my thoughts are scattered and entirely random. This post didn't make a lot of sense...but hey, isn't that life?