Two Jokes

I posted this joke a while ago, but felt the impulse to post it again (it's so funny ^^). I heard this from a friend and re-worded it slightly--adding some adjectives, changing the sentence structure, correcting grammar issues, etc.--but otherwise this is how it was told. (Note: I don't believe that blondes are dumber then any other--I myself am a blonde--but I thought this was funny. No offense intended if you are a blonde.)

There were three groups of people arguing heatedly over who was going to have the privilege to go to Mars first: the Russians, the Americans, and the blondes. The Russians argued furiously, "We get to go to Mars first because we were the first ones in space!" The Americans retorted angrily, "No, we get to go to Mars first because we were the first ones on the moon!" The blondes spoke up smugly, "Well, guess what, we don't even want to go to Mars, we are going to the sun." There was a shocked pause, and then the Russians and Americans burst out laughing. The blondes yelled, flushed, "We're not stupid, we're going at night-time!"

And the next I received in an email:

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?" "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No," said the Director, "a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"


You gotta love that. ^^